You hate Asian men, they insist; you hate your own child. You hate yourself. I save these messages in a folder on my computer to document the abuse.
Ever heard of yellow fever? No, not the disease you can pick up when travelling to certain countries. I'm talking about when Caucasian men develop an acute sexual preference for East Asian women — even becoming a fetish, for some.
As a Korean-American woman, I grew up assuming that I would date, and eventually marry, an Asian man. It must have been watching all those Korean dramas that did it. But over time, I began to realize that there was no reason to close myself off from so many potential partners just based on their race.
Earlier this year, I went on a date with a man who told me he had a thing for Asian women. We were sitting across from each other at a table in a fancy restaurant and he stood up to do a head-to-toe scan of me. I am sick of being fetishised because of racist stereotypes about "small and compliant" Asian women.
One user on Reddit posted a photo of the sign with the single-word rejoinder, "Kinda," and the sixty-something comments that followed teased apart the the moral subtleties of dating within or outside of one's own ethnicity or race. Reading through the thread feels like opening a Pandora's Box, the air suddenly alive with questions that are impossible to meaningfully answer. Dating sites and services tailored to race, religion, and ethnicity are not new, of course.
My friend scrolls through the photos of a man on Facebook. But in many of his photos, he is accompanied by Asian women. No, not the potentially fatal viral hemorrhagic disease transmitted by infected mosquitoes, but rather a preference for Asian women.
But on Saturday, the Australian producer posted a tweet that offered a new perspective. Yes, there are Asian women who stay with them. Yes, there are racist people.
An Asian fetish is an obsession with or objectification of Asian people, culture, or things of Asian origin by those of non-Asian descent, especially when it is related to stereotyping. It applies to the enthusiasms experienced by some non-Asian people for such things as Asian cinema tattoos made up of Chinese characters  or the adoption of Asian children, especially to the exclusion or diminishment of other cultures. Non-Asian men who predominantly or exclusively date Asian women are referred to as "men with an Asian fetish" by some Asian-American women. Asian fetish is a slang expression derived from sexual fetishismwhich in medical terms is a sexual fixation on a nonliving object or nongenital body part.
Kat Chow. Elise Hu. A recent study on data from a dating app found all women except black women were most drawn to white men, and men of all races with one notable exception prefer Asian women.